You're Not Going Back

We still don't know why he called us. Why we were there... if we could have intervened.  Why he died.  Why he sent for us to come back.  What the meaning of the whole thing was for us.  Or what's going to come out of it.  Or even what's going to come next.
We'll never be the same again and it doesn't matter how anyone frames it or puts it together.  It has to do with some core surrender that is unconditional and without limit.  He's shaken us to the roots of our being and we can never go back.  "You're never going back".  It's not what it seems on the surface.  We weren't there to just help him to die or to watch him die.  There's something else, but we can't be too quick to settle it or come to a conclusion about it.  It may take the rest of our lives to begin to understand it.