And you
who the hell
are you
or
were you
not just to me
were you in yourself?
After all the crazy
things
during
all
the
years --
how
thankful
I
am
that
Moorty
introduced
me
to
you.
And
you
yourself
taking
walks
with
deadly cobras --
your
friends.
And the time
I licked your
coffee spoon
by
accident
and we had to drive
40 miles
to buy one spoon
though the girl
wanted to sell us
3 for the same price.
And
when we were so
close in New York
after spending
weeks together
and you ignored us
as if we weren't there
and said you were
going for a walk with
the others
then you relented
and let us come too.
And
Paris
driving in the
rush hour
rain storm
you screaming at me
the girls
in the backseat
singing:
"Don't turn left
don't turn right,
just go straight"
and me
trying to see
the road
through the blur of
my tears and the rain
not caring where we were
or where we were going
only trying to
surrender to you
no matter how
crazy it all
was
and then
miraculously
there was the highway
like
in
Milan
when after
7 hours of driving
from Switzerland
being so lost
we drove through an alley
out
into
the cathedral
and you said,
"We go home now."
the test was over.
And how
you called me
last December
over and over
again
and what did you
want
and why can't
I let you go
now that you are no more.
And what does
my life mean
anymore
"You are a lucky guy,"
you told me.
Still
lucky
but
what
is it
holding
me
together
inside?
I
would have
died
that
day
with
you
that I know
so why am
I still here
and you not?
And how
can something like
you happen
to me and then
leave
what am I
to do
what am I to do
with you gone?