If
I
close
my
eyes
I
can
feel
that
grinding
energy
of
your
presence
wearing
me
down
even
now
absorbing
me
into
itself
me
resisting
that
Pressure
so
exhausting
to
fight
against
It.
Why?
Just to Survive?
To keep it going?
To
hold on
to
that
Larryness
of
myself?
The
weariness
agony
of
self-torment
waking up
day
after
day
to
the
bleak
black
fact
that
I
can't
stop
it
no
matter
what --
paralyzed
and
you
there
always
in front
of
me
mocking
scolding
saying
without
words:
"too
bad
for
you
you
have
to
be
you
some
more
and
time
has
nothing
to
do
with
it."
Every piece
of
my
life
I've
looked
at
over
and
over
still,
it
changes
nothing
inside.
All
the
insights
revelations --
still
hiding
from
myself
what
I
am
and
you
know
it
you
know
too
much.
But
I'd
rather
be
stuck
with
you
inside
my
heart
than
to
live
in
a
world
without
you.